Dad....

I have been 100% checked out the last 2 months... I was having a terrible day on Wednesday, April 14th. Nothing seemed to be going my way. The boys were behaving terribly and I had just found out I had about 25 pages worth of really deep, soul emptying questions I needed to fill out and turn in by the following day for a conference that Bobby and I planned on attending in May. I was so mad about the miscommunication, I was throwing a bit of a little baby fit. That evening, I had a dinner planned with a few women that I had been doing a small group with that took my mind of things for a bit and refreshed me. I had just gotten into my car after dinner when I checked my voicemails from the missed calls I recieved while at dinner and there was one from my step mom's cell phone... wierd, she doesn't usually call me.

Let me back up really quickly. It is really important for me to highlight the fact that I really believe God had been preparing me for this for quite sometime. I talked to the two girls in my accountibility group about how I was scared that God was preparing me for a tragedy. I wasn't ready to lose anyone close to me. I began praying that God would would work on my heart in this. And I really believe that he did....

Back to the voicemail.... it was my step mom, Daynet, and she sounded a little distracted and worried. I immediately returned the phone call and she informed me that my Dad had been transported via ambulance to the Emergency room the previous evening because he couldn't breathe. He called 911 himself, because she was working. She said that he was in critical condition at the Ohio Medical Center ICU. I asked if I should come up and she said no. He was only considered critical condition because he was in a drug induced coma for the detox but should be coming out of it soon.

My Dad was an alcoholic my entire life. He also smoked since he was able to light a cigarette. He was one of the funniest men I ever met. He was a huge hippie growing up and he never grew out of it. He wanted to be a rockstar. He was a rockstar. His guitar was his favorite little treasure. He never passed judgement on anyone but himself. He had the kindest heart. He was a really sick man. In his opinion, he made a lot of mistakes in his adult life and just couldn't shake the guilt. I really believe, as hard as Daynet tried, no one could have saved him from himself except God. I think the week leading up to his ambulance ride was his cry for help. Unfortunately, it went further than intended.

to be continued....