Among all this sadness came many, many blessings.
First of all, Bobby and I had been so busy, we barely had time for each other. God gave us 56 hours in the car together.
The boys were beyond well behaved.
We got to really know Daynet and her heart. She has/had so much love for my dad.
Daynet and I had a really long talk about my dad and his faith. I was scared that although he was raised Catholic, he didn't have a relationship with God. She assured me that he prayed often.
I got to see and spend some quality time with my Grandma Oelgoetz.
I got to see and spend time with my Aunt Mary Ann and her family. They are precious and so much fun. Brady got to go to his first "the cross" game and he LOVED it!
I got to see and spend time with my Uncle Joe and Uncle Tim. Both of which I hadn't seen in years and years.
My sister and I had a lot of talking to do and she rode with us back to Ohio the second time we went. That was a huge highlight to that trip.
We reconnected with my step brother. We haven't seen him in about 5 years so that was really special. He's now 12 years old and turning out to be a great kid. Hopefully we'll be able to spend some time with him this summer.
I remember the good times before dad got really sick. I bet that if he and I went to high school together, we would have been best friends. He was hilarious :) My uncle told a lot of really funny stories about dad growing up in his Eulogy. He was a hot mess growing up and I loved it! From putting my Uncle Tim in the dryer to streaking through cheerleading tryouts and the band banquet, he's my dad. He was an incredible Lacrosse player and insanely intelligent. He was my dad. He loved music so much. I bet he's singing praises to God right now.
RIP Dad.....
Friday, May 28, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Dad 3....
God opened about 8 doors four trip. We were able to stay with my Aunt Carol on a moments notice, my Mom just happened to be there visiting so she was able to keep the boys while we were at the hospital and the biggest was that the church, where Bobby is employed, said see ya.... Take care of Liz. Bobby said, "it's so comforting to know that the people at work are praying for me instead of waiting for me." There was no time cap on when we HAD to be back so he could work. Wow... talk about about comforting. In reality, we figured there was about a 50/50 chance of him pulling through. I was thinking more that I'd be there when he woke up to tell him everything I needed to tell him, not that I'd be saying goodbye.
When we were about 30 minutes outside of Columbus, I got a phone call from Daynet and again, she sounded bad. She said the nurse just told her that we should expect the worst but pray for the best. Praise God we were there.
We dropped the boys off to my Mom, AC and GG and headed to the hospital. I was an anxious, nervous, blubbery mess. I am so forever thankful for Bobby and his strength that night and the reast of the week. He was just there.. the entire time, with open arms for me to lean into. I expected the sight to be terrible and I was more than right. Tubes and medical equipment everywhere. His body was so swollen that his eyes wouldn't shut so he had on little goggles to try and protect them.
I asked for a moment and said everything I needed to say. We prayed. Alot. They say he heard me.
I'm going to make a long story short about our time their because it was a long time and it could take 27 posts to get it all out.....
I'm sorry it took so long to continue my story... We had some baby drama, all is well now.
Back to dad, we had three options....
1. Attempt to resuscitate when his heart fails which, because he was on the blood pressure medicine, would o nly have a 2% chance of success.
2. Sign the DNR and wait until his heart gave up.
3. Stop treatment.
My step mom went with option two, praying for the best. I felt like option three was the obvious choice because of the condition he was in but I don't know that I could have made that decision if I were her. The doctors said that dad would either begin to get better or not and there wasn't much else the doctors could do. We decided to stay another 48 hours but I was emotionally drained. On Monday at the hospital, the doctor came in and said IF dad made it out of this alive, he'd be living in a nursing home on a ventilator and dialysis machine, probably blind and not all there due to the fact he never came out of his drug induced coma, even after medications to bring him out had been administered. Daynet was still fighting for him. At that point, I decided to say goodbye and take my family home.
That evening, Daynet called and said Dad had been responding to her. I felt good about my decision to go home.
The following day, when we were 30 minutes from our front door, I got the call that my dads kidneys had completely shut down and the doctor said he would not live outside the hospital so the only option was to turn off the machines.
We made plans to head back to columbus on Saturday to prepare for services.
When we were about 30 minutes outside of Columbus, I got a phone call from Daynet and again, she sounded bad. She said the nurse just told her that we should expect the worst but pray for the best. Praise God we were there.
We dropped the boys off to my Mom, AC and GG and headed to the hospital. I was an anxious, nervous, blubbery mess. I am so forever thankful for Bobby and his strength that night and the reast of the week. He was just there.. the entire time, with open arms for me to lean into. I expected the sight to be terrible and I was more than right. Tubes and medical equipment everywhere. His body was so swollen that his eyes wouldn't shut so he had on little goggles to try and protect them.
I asked for a moment and said everything I needed to say. We prayed. Alot. They say he heard me.
I'm going to make a long story short about our time their because it was a long time and it could take 27 posts to get it all out.....
I'm sorry it took so long to continue my story... We had some baby drama, all is well now.
Back to dad, we had three options....
1. Attempt to resuscitate when his heart fails which, because he was on the blood pressure medicine, would o nly have a 2% chance of success.
2. Sign the DNR and wait until his heart gave up.
3. Stop treatment.
My step mom went with option two, praying for the best. I felt like option three was the obvious choice because of the condition he was in but I don't know that I could have made that decision if I were her. The doctors said that dad would either begin to get better or not and there wasn't much else the doctors could do. We decided to stay another 48 hours but I was emotionally drained. On Monday at the hospital, the doctor came in and said IF dad made it out of this alive, he'd be living in a nursing home on a ventilator and dialysis machine, probably blind and not all there due to the fact he never came out of his drug induced coma, even after medications to bring him out had been administered. Daynet was still fighting for him. At that point, I decided to say goodbye and take my family home.
That evening, Daynet called and said Dad had been responding to her. I felt good about my decision to go home.
The following day, when we were 30 minutes from our front door, I got the call that my dads kidneys had completely shut down and the doctor said he would not live outside the hospital so the only option was to turn off the machines.
We made plans to head back to columbus on Saturday to prepare for services.
Dad 2....
I was worried about my dad. Our relationship was hard to explain. We spoke once every week or two and it was always very positive and full of love from his end. It's really easy to be whoever you want from 13 hours away. I think he was incredibly in love with his wife but not in love with his life. Again, I think he lived with a lot of guilt and he was on full disability so he couldn't work. I think he probably felt like Daynet was working for them and he felt guilty (again) for that. I was under the impression that he was trying to lose weight (he was extremely overweight) and had quit drinking. This tells me that he was aware of his problems but people with alcoholism have such a hard time with self control. Daynet said that the week before he was admitted, he went into a severe depression and consumed nothing but alcohol. Therefore, he was highly malnutritioned and his immune system was shot and very vulnerable to any germ floating in the air.
More than his health, I was worried about his salvation. More on this later...
How could I not read into any of this? Why didn't I just ask once, "how are you dad? No really... how are you..." Why didn't I ever tell him I forgave him for leaving us? Because I did.... I knew he was sick. No man, in his right mind, would just leave his family. There is always something darker, bigger.... Lot's of woulda coulda shoulda's hovering over my heart in the week to follow.
I continued getting updates from Daynet twice a day. She really is awesome. She remained totally optimistic throughout the following week, leaving me at (as much as possible) peace being in Oklahoma instead of in Ohio. At this point, he was on the respirator and lots and lots of meds, one of which was for low blood pressure. On Wednesday, the 21st, they decided to do a tracheotomy (sp) for the respirator because he had strep throat and the tubes were not helping the matter plus they had been down his throat for over a week which causes scar tissue. Meanwhile, there was a lot question as to why he wasn't waking up. We all assumed it was because of all the fluid they pumped into him when he arrived. His kidneys began to act up. Things started taking a turn for the worse. That's how the ICU works- it can take a turn for better or worse really really quickly. They couldn't pull fluids from the dialysis machine because of the low bp. They couldn't treat a lot of things because of the low bp. It was an ugly, vicious cycle.
On Thursday, April 22nd, Daynet called and sounded totally drained. Bless her heart, I could here it all over her voice, as much as she tried to hide it, I knew things weren't good. I couldn't let my dad go without letting him know I loved him and forgave him. So, we loaded up the highlander and set off to Columbus early the following morning with lots of people praying really really hard.
to be continued....
More than his health, I was worried about his salvation. More on this later...
How could I not read into any of this? Why didn't I just ask once, "how are you dad? No really... how are you..." Why didn't I ever tell him I forgave him for leaving us? Because I did.... I knew he was sick. No man, in his right mind, would just leave his family. There is always something darker, bigger.... Lot's of woulda coulda shoulda's hovering over my heart in the week to follow.
I continued getting updates from Daynet twice a day. She really is awesome. She remained totally optimistic throughout the following week, leaving me at (as much as possible) peace being in Oklahoma instead of in Ohio. At this point, he was on the respirator and lots and lots of meds, one of which was for low blood pressure. On Wednesday, the 21st, they decided to do a tracheotomy (sp) for the respirator because he had strep throat and the tubes were not helping the matter plus they had been down his throat for over a week which causes scar tissue. Meanwhile, there was a lot question as to why he wasn't waking up. We all assumed it was because of all the fluid they pumped into him when he arrived. His kidneys began to act up. Things started taking a turn for the worse. That's how the ICU works- it can take a turn for better or worse really really quickly. They couldn't pull fluids from the dialysis machine because of the low bp. They couldn't treat a lot of things because of the low bp. It was an ugly, vicious cycle.
On Thursday, April 22nd, Daynet called and sounded totally drained. Bless her heart, I could here it all over her voice, as much as she tried to hide it, I knew things weren't good. I couldn't let my dad go without letting him know I loved him and forgave him. So, we loaded up the highlander and set off to Columbus early the following morning with lots of people praying really really hard.
to be continued....
Dad....
I have been 100% checked out the last 2 months... I was having a terrible day on Wednesday, April 14th. Nothing seemed to be going my way. The boys were behaving terribly and I had just found out I had about 25 pages worth of really deep, soul emptying questions I needed to fill out and turn in by the following day for a conference that Bobby and I planned on attending in May. I was so mad about the miscommunication, I was throwing a bit of a little baby fit. That evening, I had a dinner planned with a few women that I had been doing a small group with that took my mind of things for a bit and refreshed me. I had just gotten into my car after dinner when I checked my voicemails from the missed calls I recieved while at dinner and there was one from my step mom's cell phone... wierd, she doesn't usually call me.
Let me back up really quickly. It is really important for me to highlight the fact that I really believe God had been preparing me for this for quite sometime. I talked to the two girls in my accountibility group about how I was scared that God was preparing me for a tragedy. I wasn't ready to lose anyone close to me. I began praying that God would would work on my heart in this. And I really believe that he did....
Back to the voicemail.... it was my step mom, Daynet, and she sounded a little distracted and worried. I immediately returned the phone call and she informed me that my Dad had been transported via ambulance to the Emergency room the previous evening because he couldn't breathe. He called 911 himself, because she was working. She said that he was in critical condition at the Ohio Medical Center ICU. I asked if I should come up and she said no. He was only considered critical condition because he was in a drug induced coma for the detox but should be coming out of it soon.
My Dad was an alcoholic my entire life. He also smoked since he was able to light a cigarette. He was one of the funniest men I ever met. He was a huge hippie growing up and he never grew out of it. He wanted to be a rockstar. He was a rockstar. His guitar was his favorite little treasure. He never passed judgement on anyone but himself. He had the kindest heart. He was a really sick man. In his opinion, he made a lot of mistakes in his adult life and just couldn't shake the guilt. I really believe, as hard as Daynet tried, no one could have saved him from himself except God. I think the week leading up to his ambulance ride was his cry for help. Unfortunately, it went further than intended.
to be continued....
Let me back up really quickly. It is really important for me to highlight the fact that I really believe God had been preparing me for this for quite sometime. I talked to the two girls in my accountibility group about how I was scared that God was preparing me for a tragedy. I wasn't ready to lose anyone close to me. I began praying that God would would work on my heart in this. And I really believe that he did....
Back to the voicemail.... it was my step mom, Daynet, and she sounded a little distracted and worried. I immediately returned the phone call and she informed me that my Dad had been transported via ambulance to the Emergency room the previous evening because he couldn't breathe. He called 911 himself, because she was working. She said that he was in critical condition at the Ohio Medical Center ICU. I asked if I should come up and she said no. He was only considered critical condition because he was in a drug induced coma for the detox but should be coming out of it soon.
My Dad was an alcoholic my entire life. He also smoked since he was able to light a cigarette. He was one of the funniest men I ever met. He was a huge hippie growing up and he never grew out of it. He wanted to be a rockstar. He was a rockstar. His guitar was his favorite little treasure. He never passed judgement on anyone but himself. He had the kindest heart. He was a really sick man. In his opinion, he made a lot of mistakes in his adult life and just couldn't shake the guilt. I really believe, as hard as Daynet tried, no one could have saved him from himself except God. I think the week leading up to his ambulance ride was his cry for help. Unfortunately, it went further than intended.
to be continued....
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